I wish I could punch you in the face.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
