I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
