THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I stole a fireplace last night.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Randomize
