Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Please don't give away my fajitas
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize