Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
