Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
