i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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