What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
