You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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