Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
