I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
