Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
