Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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