my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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