thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
