Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
