dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
