There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
