Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I still have a little drunk in my system
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
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