i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
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