Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
