I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
