i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
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