he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
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