Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
