I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
