if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
