I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
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