Non-Jews are for practice
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
