how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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