Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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