I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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