he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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