Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
