Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
