R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Betty ford says i'm here all night
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Randomize
