Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
