so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
