would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
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