ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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