we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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