Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I wish you could order shots online.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
