I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
