i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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