Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
