I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
