So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
