i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
