the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
