sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
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