I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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