My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize