so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
