Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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