just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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