am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize