Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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