I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
