the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
