The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Who put my cat in the fridge?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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