Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
